As seen on TV · as seen on this TV · tonight only
presents
Lettuce Drink till it's dry
till it's dry!
The love you feel. The lettuce you drink.
Tonight's Program
Every channel is selling Lettuce Drink. Every single one. Flip through, or let it surf.
Each One Bigger Than the Last
THE MC TEE
An actual shirt. The Motion Club mark grown from lettuce. 100% cotton, 0% lettuce.
LETTUCE DRINK
The original. Lettuce, but you drink it. Glows faintly. Nobody knows why.
THE SUPER CUP
Holds 64 oz of Lettuce Drink. Holds it so well. Holds it forever.
LETTUCE LIFT
As used by bodybuilders who flex in a cardboard gym. Dumbbells painted, gains real.*
FRO YO BAR
Frozen Lettuce Drink, swirled tall. The kids run the bar. The kids run everything now.
THE BIG BLENDER
So big the whole family fits inside. Please do not fit the whole family inside.
SMOOTH MOVE™
The at-home lettuce slicing system. Swipe the lettuce. Fill the blender. Whatever you do, don't touch the ranch.
SMOOTH
MOVE
Swipe to slice the produce, and slice the halves again for a dice. The pieces drop into the blender. Fill it, hit BLEND, drink up and see your future. Ranch and dropped lettuce cost you a life. Lose them all and you'll be dared.
Before & After
BEFORE.
AFTER.
Behind the Cardboard
Satisfied Customers
I used to eat a salad every day. Now I drink one every day. I don't know what changed but I feel it.Bodybuilder · Cardboard Gym
Step, kick, sip. Step, kick, sip. My instructor says it's "too much lettuce." She is no longer my instructor.Aerobics enthusiast · Leotard owner
I called the number. They were standing. Just standing. Very professional.Caller · 2:14 AM
*THE FINE PRINT. LETTUCE DRINK™ is a fictional product from the Motion Club music video "Lettuce Drink." It is not for sale. There is nothing to order, no one to pay and no order form, here or anywhere. The phone number is part of the song; please do not call it. Operators are standing by in a purely theatrical sense. Order counter is a dramatization. Price is per sip, per feeling. Results not typical. Glow not guaranteed. Lettuce sold separately, at your grocery, as lettuce. The Super Cup does not hold your drink forever. The Big Blender is not a place to stand. Do not drink till it's dry. Consult a salad before beginning any lettuce regimen. Not available in stores. Not available in stores because it is not available.